Not Another Monster Movie

The Mousetrap
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Still hurting from when he got shot, Johan decided to go see what Faye needed help with. It was never a good sign when Faye asked for help, but she’s helped him and the Order a few times already. Still, he wondered how much he could do with his arm in a sling.

Walking to Faye’s Apartment, he found Penny outside staring at the building. While the child is quite annoying/odd/childish, this doesn’t look good. thought Johan. They proceeded to head into the building to find what was going on.

As the two walked up the third of five flights of steps, a horn honking a strange melody beeped outside. A small Prius was being honked at by a large silver van. Doors slammed as El Toro went to go see why this tiny car had stopped in the middle of the street. He began cursing until he arrived at the window and found Smythe in the back seat, accompanied by Alice and Jazz. El Toro asked what Sir Smythe was doing and said that he was called by Faye to help investigate something. With a similar reason, El Toro thought they should go park and see what the SeƱorita Patton wants.

Upstairs, Penny and Johan came across something they never expected to find… An open door. Faye was not the type to leave her door open, ever. The series of deadbolts and magical wards placed on the door showed how much she cared about security. Penny tried to peer her mind in but did not sense anybody. Johan pushed the door open as 4 other people arrived, each wondering who the other was at Faye’s door.

After some prompt introductions, Johan opened the door and braced for whatever might end up hurting him. He was thankful it was nothing, but the place was a mess. Whether it was because someone had come in and ransacked the place or if Faye was a generally messy person, no one could really tell. El Toro went to the place he had always seen Faye at when he requested help, her computer. Unfortunately… he was not so good with computers, but could at least read all the Post It Notes surrounding the monitor. As the group looked on in the notes, they got the sense that Faye was onto something big, and was looking into it by herself. That’s probably why they were all called. The group split the notes up between them and tried to find more information.

Johan and El Toro went to the library a few blocks down from Faye’s. When they arrived, they turned to the librarian to try and get some information. El Toro told Johan to wait as he handled this. After a bit of flirting, El Toro was able to get the books that Faye was looking into. As El Toro was not good with the english language, he decided to let Johan look over them. Johan found some interesting information regarding telekinetic demons and their abilities. He went outside for a moment and called his mentor for help, he was able to confirm for sure the abilities of the demons. Upon returning inside the library he found El Toro coming back from the bathroom area… followed a moment later by the librarian.

Alice and Smythe followed the post it that lead to the Medical Examiner’s office. Smythe knew the Chief Examiner and thought he would be able to get in easily and ask questions, unfortunately he wasn’t around. Instead, they were met with Olivia. Smythe had had some interaction with her before and was prepared just in case they met. A pack of cigarettes outside let Alice search the office. A password barely concealed by the computer let her access it and find the files she needed. It seems that the most recent corpse was horribly mutilated as if it was crushed repeatedly by a large downward force.

Jazz and Penny had never met before so it made an odd pairing. The oddest sentence to write so far is that a 12 year old and a master thief took the bus to the police station. As they entered, Jazz found his friend, Gilbert Stroppe, and began giving the cop the third degree. It seems Faye was here recently regarding a corpse found at 195 Park Tree Grove Lane. After buying some runts for Penny, the two were picked up by El Toro and headed to the location of the last note on Faye’s computer, the Rosswell Reader.

When the 6 arrived at an apartment building that looked like an even more rundown building than Faye’s, if that was even possible, they found a call box with the name Bertram Byers crossed out and replaced by Rosswell Reader. After a failed attempt at recognition by El Toro, the men headed to the Starbucks across the street and let the girls handle this one. Bertram was able to provide the group with a little more information about a small cult worshiping a Being of Light in the area.

Now that the group felt like they had everything they needed, they loaded up, got another espresso to go, called up the Johan’s interns and headed to find Faye.

As they arrived at the house of the recent death, Johan and his interns cast a spell to see what happened to the corpse. Looking back in time, he was able to see a salesman going door to door. Arriving at this house, he rang the doorbell and proceeded to get chewed up and spat out by the porch. Undeterred by this, El Toro decided that the most straight forward way was the best way. As he began walking forward, Penny mentally tied his shoes together and caused him to fall on a “mud pie”. Johan convinced El Toro that it would probably be best to go in through the back. El Toro reluctantly agreed.

Still throwing caution to the wind, El Toro opens the back door and proclaims his presence to no answer. As the group walks in, they suddenly feel the world shift. Suddenly, the floor is the ceiling and vice versa. As the group looked out the window to see the world still right-side up, they realized they were in no ordinary house. The group split up to try and find Faye in this strange house.

In a room with a lovely fireplace and a very old fashioned TV, Alice and Johan’s Interns looked around. As they searched, a growl was heard. Suddenly the TV was attacking Jeremiah. Alice, ready for anything, took out her hand cannon and blasted the thing to pieces.

Johan went to the basement where he found a strange room where his arm began to feel a lot better ever since it was shot by Sarah McEleyn.

Smythe found himself in the dining room, a wonderful turkey dinner prepared.for an empty house. It was then the turkey stood up. Knowing a Poultrygeist when he saw one, Smythe attempted to quickly dispatch it with some telekinetic silverware. The turkey a bit faster than expected grabbed a knife and charged Smythe. Not wanting to be outdone, Smythe took out his own sword and carved up his own Thanksgiving dinner.

It seemed as the group traversed throughout the house, the rooms shifted around. Stepping in between rooms caused the shift. Not wanting to be a victim to the house’s shenanigans, El Toro leaped out the nearest window. As he looked back at the house from the outside, he could not see the damage he had done to the house, or his friends inside.

The rest of the group gathered and made their way to the attic, where things where getting very weird. As they entered, random boxes were flung about the room and in the midst of it all, Faye, glowing with power.

The acolytes of the Order began chanting to banish whatever was in this room. In the midst of their spell, Faye’s eyes glowed less and a request for help could have been heard. Alice took the most practical approach and got close, pistol whipping Faye in the back of the head, long enough for the Order to finish their magic. The light glowed brighter and moved out of her. Suddenly the house took on a decrepit form, as if some magic was making it look new.

“Guys, I think something big is going down.”

Royalty Pains

Erra, Faye, Johan, Penny, Severa, and a mysterious stranger that Severa could only refer to as handsome sat uncomfortably in their seats. The room was bland. A small table was set to the side with coffee and donuts. They sat in a circle with a woman in a cheerfully blue dress seeming to moderate them.
“So, who would like to share first.” began the AA meeting. The mysterious man said he had to go, poured himself a cup of coffee, and left. The others began responding to “Susan” about how they all knew each other… but who was that man?

In fact… what were they doing here? Something was definitely up as the 12 year old Penny shouldn’t be in an AA meeting. And Erra wouldn’t willfully go to something like this either.

The door bust open to reveal two men quickly come in and forcefully inject Susan with something, knocking her out. One was wearing a doctor’s coat while the other wore scrubs. They began taking the woman away when Erra knocked the men to the floor. Penny followed the violence, took out her shotgun and asked them nicely to talk. The man in scrubs fainted, but before the other could plead for his life, Erra soothed him with her voice and began to question him.

Meanwhile. Faye began to look around. The place seemed old and unused. The design was very generic. It looked like no one had been here for years. She looked at her watch and noticed that it was set to a timer. 47 minutes left. She kept searching the floor trying to figure out what it all meant.

Johan had a memory. He had a job. Thinking hard, he had to recruit someone. That man. The mysterious man. Severa asked where he was going, as for other reasons that she could almost definitely place, she wanted that man. The two struck a bargain, they would find that man, find out who he was, and Johan would get his mind while Severa would get his heart (hopefully neither meant literally).

As the two left the building, they found another one looking slightly newer than this one across the street. The stranger was walking toward it, coffee in his hand. That was when Severa’s instincts kicked in and she tackled him, saving him from the fast approaching danger.

The doctor talked. His name was Jim. The other man was Bob. They came over from St. Claire’s Mental Institution to pick up Susan who apparently escaped. They were sent here by their boss, Sarah McEleyn. Apparently, they were just across the street. As Erra lulled Jim into sleep, she searched their bodies to find a bunch of needles labeled “Happy Juice” and proceeded to tie up Jim and Bob. Penny, being awake way past her bed time decided to take a nap in a nearby room.

Moving in time, Severa saved the man’s life from… the old cartoon Road Runner? The man seemingly not new to this at all had skillfully spilled his coffee away from himself and proceeded to give orders. Johan quickly laid some covering fire with his crossbow and directed the Road Runner at Severa who Beared Out and glomped the creature. Biting down and sucking its life force, it tasted horrible. As if reacting to the pressure of being caught, the creature popped in her hands. As Johan looked it over, he confirmed that it was all ink. He called up his mentor for a quick question and was told to find the pen creating the monster to stop it.
It was at this point that Milford said hey to his Cousin and asked him what they were doing here. He had tripped over a suitcase belonging to a Jack. K of room 202 at St Claire’s and figured it must be important.
Johan and Severa stared at this man who was so casual with them. It would be a shame to tell him that they could not remember who he was.

As Faye and Erra came outside to meet the rest of the group and exchange what they had found, they decided to head back to the place they were at to look for more clues. They set up a spell to help see into the past in the room they were in. Erra became the focal point and slowly watched as their activities went backward, up until when Susan began. And just after that, Susan slowly disappeared, as if she were slowly being filled in reverse. and then, blackness. A large amount of words, but backward and scrolling up. And there was Erra, looking at Faye, saying “And that’s why the chicken crossed the road” before the vision ended.

Milford, Severa, and Johan entered the new building and found it sparsely populated. Sevara extended her senses and felt like there should be more people, but there was almost none. While attempting to dominate the sleeping receptionist, her stare backfired as the glazed look in the man’s eye reflected her visage back to her, making her just as sleepy as he was. It did not seem like it would matter, as the guard really didn’t seem to care much about anything except napping. The group proceeded to go upstairs to find room 202.

Faye decided they need more information. They woke up Susan and tried to ask her some questions. When Susan realized she had no memories, it became quite a shock. Susan looked at the ring on her finger and tried to remember who she was married to. There was nothing before 20 mninutes ago. It was all white. Why was she here. Why couldn’t she remember she screamed. Erra decided it would be best to calm her down once more and put her to sleep.

Severa, Milford, and Johan entered a room that stunk like hospital. Two old men in coma’s sat across from each other. The domination affect was beginning to set in and Severa took a nap on a nearby chair. Milford searched around the files of the two sleeping men, a Stan L. and Jack K. Apparently both were involved in a car accident 30 years ago to the day. The cars had apparently crashed head on into each other and left both men in a coma. It seemed that they had both woken up around 5 years ago to this day for a few minutes. While Milford began to go over the charts, Johan kept an eye on the hallway and noticed two men who looked exactly like Jim and Bob walk by. As he looked further out, there was another set, talking near a vending machine. Another set were lost in thought.

To look for more clues, Faye would look upstairs while Erra rechecked the first floor. Erra opened door after door until she felt it. A frequency only she could hear due to her divinity. A Making was occurring in the room she was in. A black spot of ink coalesced in front of her, and as she listened to the frequency, she subconsciously added to it. Before her now stood her adversary. Slightly taller, meaner, and ready to fight.

As Faye searched the upstairs, she noticed how bland the construction design was. It seemed as if someone had just copied and pasted the same door and room all down the hallway. The difference between the doors was minuscule. If it was for the OCD, she probably would not have tried each and every door. And that’s when she found the room with the two old men.

Johan and Milford decided to look for the boss, Sarah McEleyn. They stopped a pair of Jim/Bobs and asked for directions. The two seemed to blabber on to keep the guys from going to see her, so to escape, they made them think about life for a moment. That’s when a second set of Jim/Bobs ran into the first set. They faced each other and stared with a look of confusion and wonder. The cousins made their way upstairs and found the office of the boss. They entered and found a woman stuck in a position where it looked like she was writing a memo. As she watched the two come in, she began scribbling furiously. All the was written was “KILL THEM” with Sarah repeatedly underlying “THEM”. Thinking on his mentor’s words, Johan took her pen and broke it. The cursed woman than began underlying kill with her nails until blood came out. Running downstairs, they found that the Jim/Bobs had all seemed to have bumped into each other. The newer ones seemed confused while those near room 202 seemed to be nearly breaking into a fight. Excusing themselves, they quickly moved into Room 202, barricaded the door, and placed a barrier on it to prevent the Jim/Bobs from getting in.

Erra slashed, bobbed, and weaved at her adversary. His mighty fists seemed to go through the air quickly and find purchase on her, but she still managed to stab his forearm with her great spear. A quick headbutt, a knee, step in, twirl, feint, high kick. Her instincts honed from countless days training kicked in. It was a marvelous battle that would have been a great spar, if it wasn’t for the face of the opponent, constantly reminding her of what had happened and why she was here. And then she saw it. His pattern of attack looped. This was not her true Adversary. This was a sham. How dare someone attempt to manipulate her with this fake. With all the rage and fury she could muster, she drove her trident through this thing’s chest. It popped like a balloon, covering her and the walls in ink.

As Faye looked over the charts, she realized this was probably the cause of the weirdness. she quickly turned off the machines keeping the old men alive. The monitors flat-lined. Then, the men rose in the air slowly. Possession. Something was living in these men, keeping them alive. Somehow, it created the weirdness, but she was only one person and didn’t have time to exorcise them both. She made a quick decision and drew a circle around one and began the chant. the body imploded and melted over its bed. Ink. The other body was upright now. A pen in his hand. A wicked grin on his face. Jack K. seemed to be awake.

Finishing up the magic barrier, Johan turned around to give a sigh of relief and thank his cousin for setting up the more physcial one. It was then that he noticed that an old man was choking Milford in mid air. One bed was empty, the other full of ink. Stan L. was awake, and looked abnormally happy. Johan quickly pulled out his crossbow and shot the old man in the back. He dropped Milford, cried Excelsior, and punched Johan in the face. Milford quickly jumped on the old man’s back to restrain him while Johan set up a banishment circle. The circle lit, the man’s eyes and mouth spewed out solid light which broke through the ceiling, and Stan Lee fell to the ground, dead, a strange burn mark on his chest. This would have been a solemn moment if not for Severa’s snore.

Faye backed up and quickly backed up and wrote a barrier on the door’s frame, but it was not enough. Jack Kirby used his pen to begin erasing the magical field. Erra arrived, covered in paint and attempted to stab through the hole in the barrier. Taking a different tactic, Jack created his own wall that the two could not see through. After he created the wall, strange noises could be heard. What creations could he have been coming up with. Erra attempted to break down the wall but failed. Faye attempted to teleport the pen to her, but unfortunately brought Jack with it.

Johan and Milford opened the door to find madness. The Jim/Bobs were running amuck, yelling, screaming, looting, burning, streaking, stabbing, and then there was that Bob/Jim set that was just looking on at the strangeness and walking through it as if it was nothing. They decided to try Sarah again for more answers, but Johan was met with a .38 special to the shoulder as the woman had obviously lost her shit after years of being cursed. The Bob/Jim watched this all happen and recommended Johan get a doctor.

Erra quickly worded a binding to hamper Jack’s movements while Faye pulled hard and cut Jack’s hand with the tip of the fountain pen. Removed of his power and stuck, Jack began to threaten Erra and wondered how she could do this to like kind. Jack grinned maliciously as Erra demanded answers. He knew something she didn’t. It was then a hard light came down from the ceiling and struck Jack, breaking his binding, and seemingly granting him more power.

The Bob/Jim stopped their discussion. While they are doctors, unfortuantely, their oath has changed from Hippocratic to Hypocrite. The Bob/Jim threatened to kill Johan when Milford took a nearby fire-axe and chopped them up into ink stains. The Jim/Bobs were starting to form a posse surrounding Milford and Johan. This was going to be rough.

Severa woke from her slumber and looked around the room. She was pretty sure it wasn’t like this when she fell asleep. And there seems to be an old dead guy on the floor. As she moved to the hallway, she saw the chaos of the Jim/Bobs. A Bob, or possibly a Jim, turned and looked at her. He Yodelled, and soon all the other Jim/Bobs joined in. They rushed her and formed a dogpile, punching, biting, and stabbing with happy juice where they could. Severa Beared Out to escape, but only barely.

Jack broke free of the binding and flew to attack Erra. Erra quickly chanted and re-chanted binding after binding to slow down Jack whose strength seemed to keep increasing. Faye took the new pen and began to write as fast as she could. She found the pen could literally write on air and as she created a circle around Jack, with a flourish she finished the spell. Jack screamed as he was exorcised and dropped to the ground with a thud. Faye looked over the body and noticed a burn mark on the man’s chest. Erra saw it too and said only one word, " Auguery ". As Faye looked Erra in the eye, as if pleading for more information, “And that’s why the chicken crossed the road.” was the only response she received.

The hallway now a Jackson Pollock, the two wearily went downstairs, broken and bruised, They found Severa, still in Vambear mode with a few needles sticking out of her back, panting near the stairs. They went outside to see Faye carrying Penny on her back and Erra covered in ink as well. Penny yawned awake and wanted IHOP. They all agreed this would probably be for the best right now and walked away as the two building slowly erased from existence behind them.

Who Do that VooDoo
The Grandmother's Curse

Faye found on the news a recent and most interesting murder. A gang member of the Reds horribly eviscerated in an alley. The crime was fresh. The news was weird. Could this be part of it all?

Penny was going to see her favoritist aunt to see what fun she was getting up to today. It was on her way that she got the vision: A dead man beneath a large oak tree in the local park under the full moon. While going to her aunt’s house Erra showed up to see how she was doing. They noticed Faye leaving her house (Oh it will be a fun day! squeeled Penny)

Johan was sent out to do two things: eliminate whatever killed the gang member, and kill Walter “High Life” Simmons, local gang lead of Public Threat. To help him out, Johan contacted his friend Shadow, spell slinger extraordinaire to give him the edge he may need in any situation.

Faye arrived at the scene of the crime and tried to get a good look at the scene. Standing a few feet behind everyone, she wrote a spell circle to let her see into the past. A beautiful woman holds a young man by the hand, giggling and smiling. Lust can only be seen in each other’s eyes. They duck in the alley and quickly begin going at it. The woman looks up. A wicked grin upon her face. Her body convulses and twitches. She transforms. Her hair and nails elongating. Her face growing more lupine. And she attacks. And once she is done, the woman looks at Faye and grins.

Penny pokes her aunt out of her spell. She giggles at the thought of the murder and tells Faye about a possible upcoming one. They head to the park and find the oak tree of Penny’s vision. Faye covers the tree in small camera’s, making sure that they get all the angles of whats going to occur.

Meanwhile, Johan and Shadow attempt to get at the corpse to ask it a few questions at the police office. Unfortunately… they looked completely ridiculous in their respective outfits and were told to go away. They decided to contact the soul of the person who died, Elias Dessaline. Elias told them about the woman he met and the gang he worked for. As he didn’t know the woman personally, the boys decided to head to The Reds main hide out, Money Stacks. Being stopped by the bouncer was no problem. With a bit of a magic push they made their way inside, only to be confronted by 3 men bearing guns at them. This was probably the worst way to get information, and a tactical retreat was called for.

Meanwhile, as Faye was still in the tree setting up her camera, 2 people approached as night was decending. One was the very same woman from Faye’s vision earlier. The other, a young man wearing a red shirt and hat. Erra and Penny quickly ducked to the side in some bushes while Faye was stuck in the tree to see what would occur. As the woman began taking off the young man’s pants, a third person showed up. Elias, or rather his corpse, was approaching the couple. While everyone was distracted by the moving body, the woman had transformed again and was about to kill the man. Penny tried to tap into her powers but failed and became depressed, drawing figures with a stick in the dirt. Erra quickly rushed out and put herself between the man and the two creatures, defending him from the upcoming onslaught. While viewing this from above, Faye went through her flash cards and found the spell that would create a hole in the dirt. The hole however became quite large and created a crater in the park, trapping the corpse and the woman, who was knocked out from the fall.

Staking out the The Money Stacks, a mysterious homeless man approached Johan and Shadow. As if recognizing Johan’s bizzare attire, he talked to them of the strange occurrences the likes of which he could only call VooDoo. Going by this information, they made a decision to visit one of the local VooDoo parlors and ask around. That’s when Faye called them about capturing themselves a werewolf.

After interviewing Chad (henceforth known as BlowJob Guy by Penny), they heard talk of an old woman who was screaming obscenities about a lost grandson outside the Money Stacks and swearing revenge. Using her internet friends to get a little more info, Faye found the identity of werewolf to be Lucy Beauchamps, mother to the recently lost Henry, a victim of a drive-by supposedly made by the Reds. Meeting up to store the werewolf away at one of Johan’s sects secret locatoins, Johan was able to assemble a few Acolytes (Jakob, Jayhan, and Jeremiah) to head towards Voodoo Authentica, whose proprietor was one Marie Beauchamps, mother to Lucy, grandmother to Henry.

They found the place at 2am and split up. Faye stayed in the car. Erra and Penny took the front door while Shadow, Johan, and the acolytes took the back.

Erra and Penny entered what looked like a normal waiting room, complete with old magazines in the front. To hide their presence, Penny sent out a psychic Rick Roll… unfortunately affecting everyone in the vicinity.

As they entered a small kitchen, Shadow felt a strange power coming from a door that led to the basement. They men took the stairs down to find a room full of zombies, corpses filled with Loa and spirits of the dead waiting to do a master’s bidding. It seems like they had not been activated yet so they quietly decided to go back upstairs, only to find another werewolf waiting for them.

Faye started worrying that they were taking too long. As she left the security of the car, she found Penny and Erra going upstairs and followed them. Erra felt a presence behind one of the upstairs doors. As she opened the door, she found an old woman shocked that the door opened before she tried to open it. The old woman yelled, her eyes became dark, and fire formed around her.

Shooting a crossbow between your allies to hit a werewolf was not an easy shot. shooting magic at it had pissed it off even more. The werewolf quickly snagged Shadow and dragged him toward the basement. The zombies began to laugh as the werewolf hid among them, waiting for the signal.

An explosion of fire erupted from the old woman’s hands, her fingers slowly burning. Penny pulled the shotgun out of her bunny and pulled the trigger letting the sound escape and burst everyone’s ear drums and a bit of the woman’s arm. Faye emptied her clip but was having trouble landing a hit. Erra dived in and tried to strike this woman in the heart but she blocked her trident forcefully.

Shadow flew through the air and landed on Johan. The acolytes attacked, and so did the zombies. The melee was a scene of chaos as the werewolf darted back and forth and was able to pick off Jakob. Using all their training the 4 slowly chopped, shot, and magicked their way to victory.

Upstairs the battle raged. Faye took a chance to attempt to garrote the possessed old woman and Erra took the momentary distraction to stab through her heart. The woman screeched and exploded in a great ball of fire, but not before giving a warning to Erra.

Broken, battered, bruised and confused, they let the fire clean the earth of this monstrous place and decided that it was probably time for some Denny’s.


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